Broken Promises
by carlycarter
Summary: Aeryn/John story, diverges from Canon at "Terra Firma", After arriving on earth, John and Aeryn's baby is inadvertently released from stasis during medical tests. Their relationship is already on rocky ground, and as Aeryn's body wasn't designed to carry a human child, decisions have to be made about which life to save…started as a one shot and took on a life of its own…
1. Chapter 1

Broken Promises- ((a special joint project of Sarah J and Carly Carter)) All credit to Sarah for the idea :) and all the blame to me if I messed up her vision. This started as a one shot. Then it turned into five chapters to match the five beautiful pictures (Which you can see at my LJ 'carlyisnot' or PM me), and then it turned to five parts made up of many chapters...it took on a life of it's own. The story really wrote itself with no input from me, and I take no responsibility. Also I own nothing, and make no profit from borrowing the "Farscape" characters for my story.

As always thanks to the wonderful Claudia Black fan group on FB for giving me confidence to write this story and to share it, and with my thanks for allowing me to be part of such a creative group of people. Each and every person there has inspired me in some way.

I always thought the pregnancy story was misused on the show, they brought it in way too quickly, only to ignore it again for weeks, anyway Sarah J is the brilliant one who suggested to bring this in on Terra Firma, all credit to her for the idea :)

_**~~ Part 1 **_

_**Chapter 1 **_

"No, I really can't stay, I just came to drop some things off to Olivia." Aeryn politely and awkwardly turns down the last minute invitation to Christmas dinner. If Crichton wanted her at his 'family' Christmas, he would have asked her. But this is his life. His home he had ached for. He wanted to get back to this, it's all he ever wanted. It was the driving force behind his wormhole obsession, And quite clearly Aeryn doesn't belong in this picture. "I just need a quick word with John." She manages to say even though her heart is racing and she feels like she can't breathe. All she can feel is the "family-ness" of it all, and how much she does not belong. Not with Crichton, not on this planet, not anywhere.

Reluctantly Crichton walks towards her. He isn't smiling, or giving even the slightest indication he is happy to see her. "Look Aeryn, if you want to stay, then stay. If you don't, then leave. But this is a celebration, ok? I never thought I'd have another Christmas like this. It's a special holiday to my family. I guess you peacekeepers don't really do 'celebration.' But this is special, ok? I don't have time for this." He tells her, quite harshly. She can be left under no illusion that she is wanted here after his speech.

"This?" She enquires. "You don't have time for me, you mean to say?" As she ponders over the word "family" and that she was suddenly not a part of his "family." On Moya they had been each others family, Moya had been home. But he found his true place now, and she was no part of it. Whether she was carrying his unborn child or not, she still was not family, was not wanted.

"This whatever this is Ok. I don't have the energy to argue with you. I get it. You are all miserable here. I get it, really I do. I'm sorry. But this is my home, my family, my Christmas and I just want to enjoy this one damn day, is that too much to ask?"

"I'll be going then."Aeryn answers hurriedly, she has never been one to stick around when she isn't wanted.

"Suit yourself. You were invited to stay, but you can't even put aside your frustrations to enjoy one meal with us. So go." He tells her.

"I was invited? Since when?" She wants to know.

"Oh so now you're pissed I didn't invite you? This is why! This is why I can't take this today, Aeryn! I just want to enjoy the day, I don't need all this frelling nonsense, not today ok?" Crichton yells.

"Right then. Goodbye, Crichton" She says to him, trying very hard not to let the crushing hurt show on her face. The word 'goodbye' seemingly so permanent. It didn't matter though, he had already turned away. Softly and under her breathe she mumbled "_I just came to give you your Christmas present. Congratulations, you're going to be a daddy." _A lone tear escapes and trickles down her face and she hastily wipes it away, as she rushes away from John Crichton and his precious 'family'.

When Aeryn, and the others, first arrived on Earth they had been subject to a rigorous quarantine and extremely invasive and humiliating medical examinations. During which, some idiotic human doctor had inadvertently released the foetus from stasis. Aeryn said nothing to the doctors about the possibility of the baby being human. That would mean endless tests and experiments, on her, on the baby. She waited. Afraid to tell Crichton, afraid to tell anyone. Things between her and Crichton had been strained, at best. She didn't know if he even wanted a baby with her. Perhaps he would stay here on earth, but she already knew she could not stay here. She did not belong. Perhaps she would leave, taking Crichton's baby with her. Perhaps it wasn't Crichton's baby, and he certainly wouldn't want her then! He didn't even want her now. And so she kept is a closely guarded secret, at first.

When she started waking up in the night with a fever, she knew. It was her Sebacean body's reaction to a non Sebacean foetus. But the fevers lasted less than an arn, and were to be expected in a cross- species pregnancy in someone with her battle modifications. However, what the fevers meant, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the baby was not Sebacean. Velorek was not the father. Which meant, the baby growing inside of her belonged to John Crichton.

It hadn't seemed real, the pregnancy, not when it was a foetus in stasis that might stay that way for years. But since the foetus had been allowed to grow inside her, she felt a bond forming. She was certain this was something to do with the baby being human. That little person inside her was getting to her, in just the way its father always knew how to do. Because a peacekeeper soldier like herself did not get sentimental about pregnancy. Motherhood was never in her future. A rotation on the breeding roster perhaps, but motherhood? No. And yet she feels it, already, after just a few days, she feels like a mother. A single mother.

Aeryn didn't know what to think about the baby. Perhaps it would have been better if it was not Crichton's. It would still be fatherless, but perhaps easier. She and Crichton were barely speaking. She had hurt him, and he her, so many times. And now he was home on earth he had no use for a pregnant alien wife. She wondered what Crichton would think. There was a time he was devestated to learn he might NOT be the father. And maybe, just maybe, this baby could bring them together. Or so Aeryn told herself after getting caught up in what Crichton called "_The Christmas Spirit"_. What better time to tell him the good news? This planet, these people, really frelled with her emotions. However, the icy reception at the Crichton Christmas told her all she needed to know. Crichton had no interest in her, no interest in a baby.

It didn't matter, it was her baby. She would love it, raise it. She hadn't wanted a baby, not now, maybe never, but now she knew a tiny part of her and Crichton was growing inside her, she felt a connection. They would be fine, she didn't need Crichton. Whatever this human alien baby inside her was doing, it seemed to soften her heart, and forge a connection that she could not deny. She wanted this child. She wanted to be a mother.

So, she tells herself, Everything is perfect.

Still when she arrives back to the house, and finds the others all out at Christmas gatherings, she is quick to retire to her room. She lay down on her bed and could not hold back the violent sobs that escaped her. Her entire body shook with heart wrenching cries, she could not stop. She felt like she could never stop, that she could never breathe again.

Aeryn hadn't heard Chianna and D'Argo return home, however they heard her crying and rushed up the stairs to her room.

"Aeryn? Whats wrong?" D'Argo's voice boomed in concern.

Aeryn sat up, but try as she might, the tears would not stop, she could not answer him.

Chianna sat beside her, pulling her into an awkward embrace. "Shhhh Aeryn. Take a breath. Tell us what's wrong." Chianna coaxed her.

The sobs subsided slowly, and Chianna reached out to touch Aeryn's face.

"Aeryn you're burning up!" Chianna said with alarm. "Are you sick?"

"I'll get Crichton." D'Argo insists. "And a doctor."

"No." Aeryn managed to say between sobs "No."

"Ok." Chianna said. "Whats wrong? Are you sick? You're burning up, that's not real good for a Sebacean.

Aeryn cast a look at Dargo. Chianna spied the look in Aeryn's eyes. "D'Argo can you leave us?" Chianna asked. And he complied, reluctantly.

"It's ok, Chi, it happens sometimes, the fever will go away."

"Since when does it happen sometimes?" Chianna demands

"Since I'm pregnant." Aeryn confided in her. She should have learned her lesson after the last time she 'confided' in Chianna. But Crichton isn't around and Aeryn needs all the friends she has left.

"I don't understand."

"During the frelling physical exam we had to have when we landed on the wretched planet, one of the incompetent medical personnel released the embryo from stasis." Aeryn explains.

"But you should't be burning up like this." Chianna tells her.

"It happens sometimes, when the baby isn't Sebacean." She reassures Chianna

"Not Sebacean? So it's Crichton's? Thats great. He must be over the moon." Chianna grins.

"No." Aeryn shook her head, tears welling in her eyes again "He is not."

Chianna put one arm around Aeryn "Why ?What did he say? What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, please Chianna, and please do not call him." Aeryn pleads.

"I wont call him if you don't want me to. But just you wait til I get my hands on him ..."Chianna threatens.

"No please, it's not his fault." Aeryn tries to explain.

"He got you pregnant and now what? He doesn't want the baby? So he leaves you here crying your eyes out on Christmas while you're pregnant and sick?" Chianna asks in horror.

"It's ok, the fever is normal. It will go away." Aeryn keeps insisting.

"But you are really burning up. Let me get you something cold to drink, and a cool cloth for your head." Chianna offers.

"Thanks." Aeryn says. And it isn't easy for her to say it. It isn't easy for her to play the invalid. And it isn't easy that it's Chianna looking after her, and not John.

Aeryn should have known Chianna would bring D'Argo back to her room after spilling the whole story to him in the kitchen. To Chianna's credit she also brought cold water to drink and a cool cloth for Aeryn's forehead. The water tasted so good, so cold, and it did make her feel better. Chianna pressed the cloth to Aeryn's forehead, and that too felt good. But there were still tears welling in Aeryn's eyes, damn pregnancy hormones.

Why wasn't Crichton the one here with Aeryn looking after her and the baby, instead of D'Argo and Chianna? Part of Aeryn wants to scream, please please call Crichton, tell him I need him, the baby needs him. But Aeryn has too much pride, she is too afraid of rejection. And above all she wants John to be happy. And what John wanted was a Christmas dinner with his family.

"Aeryn." D'Argo began gently. "Chianna told me...'"

"Please, don't get Crichton. I don't want him here. " Aeryn begged.

"I wont do anything you don't want me to do." D'Argo reassured her. "You need to relax, it's not good for the baby to get so upset."

He was right. Who would have thought the Luxon warrior would make such a great pre-natal nurse.

"I want to share something with you." D'Argo begins "My wife and I tried three times before we had Jothy. Her Sebacean body couldn't cope with the Luxon DNA inside the baby. She too began getting fevers, ever increasing in duration. We lost three babies. Before we found a doctor who was able to help us."

"How?" Aeryn asks.

"I don't know. I really don't. But this isn't normal. How often does your temperature rise like this?" He asks gently.

"Not that often." Aeryn tries to fob him off.

"Tell me Aeryn, please, Im trying to help you, and the baby."

Two, or three, time a day. Sometimes four." She admits with a tremor in her voice. She knows it isn't good.

"This is dangerous, for you and the baby, do you understand, Aeryn? We need to take you to a doctor." He tells her, again in such a gentle tone that it scares her more than if he were shouting.

"Where will we find a doctor? And the hospital, the press will be all over it, security, nurses poking and prodding me, I just want to be left alone."

"Aeryn, its not just you, think of the baby, ok?" Chianna reminds her.

"Ok." She finally concedes with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Do you want me to call Crichton?" D'Argo asks again, as if he expects a different answer.

No, please, no." The damn tears falling again as she pleads.

"Ok, I won't do anything you don't want me to. But we really need to get to a hospital. I'll talk to those security guys and get someone to drive us, ok." D'Argo says.

Aeryn only nods slightly in submission.

Chianna still sat with her arm around Aeryn, "It will be ok. They have doctors and stuff here. Not like D'Argo and his wife living in the middle of some farming planet in the middle of no where. You will be ok, the baby too. You really want this baby, don't you ?"

"Yeah." Aeryn answers. "I can't explain it. I didn't plan it. But I want this baby, more than anything."

"I'm sorry Crichton hurt you, I'm sorry he isn't here for you. I know i'm not him, but I'm here, and D'Argo, and we wont leave you."

"Thanks, Chianna. I am so afraid. I've never been more afraid." Aeryn admits.

"I know." Chianna soothes her. "But you are the most courageous person I know. And everything will be ok, you'll see."

"Chianna, I mean it, please, I don't want Crichton here, promise me."

"I promise. If that's what you want. But if you change your mind..."

"I won't. He doesn't want this baby, he doesn't want me, and I don't want him around."

"I find that hard to believe, but I respect your wishes." Chianna acknowledges.

At that moment D'Argo returned. "The car is ready to take us to the hospital."

As Aeryn stood to her feet and took a step towards the door, she suddenly called out, doubling over in agony.

"Aeryn?" Chianna asked. "Whats wrong? Talk to me?"

"I don't know. There is something wrong with the baby." She gasped. "We have to get to the hospital, now."

With that, D'Argo swooped Aeryn into his arms and hurried down the stairs to the waiting car, with Chianna following close behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Part 1**_

_**Chapter 2**_

Crichton's encounter with Aeryn had left a bitter taste in his mouth. Damn her, coming here, ruining his fun on Christmas. He just wanted one damn moment to enjoy what his life used to be. But it seems that enjoyment had been robbed from him forever. Perhaps he just does not fit in on earth anymore.

He is only half paying attention to the celebration around him, when something on the TV catches his eyes. The headline. "Alien virus going to wipe out the planet."

He turns the volume up, hushing his family, and listening to the idiotic news reader telling that one of the "Aliens" had come down with a mystery illness, which was probably contagious and going to wipe out the entire human race. Through the crowds of reporters, onlookers, security, he spies Chianna first, then D'Argo, D'Argo carrying Aeryn's lifeless body in his arms.

Without a word he sprang from the couch, grabbing his car keys, and took off speeding towards the hospital.

All he could see was Aeryn in the blurry footage on the news, lying in D'Argos arms. What happened to her ? He talked to her less than two hours ago. He thinks back to his last words to her, or more accurately the last weeks of words to her. The way he had been so hurt that he felt the need to give her a taste of her own medicine He kicks himself. He had such a special thing with her, and he let it crumble away. She came over wanting to talk to him and he pushed her away. And now...would he ever get a chance to tell her he loves her? He needs her? She completes him? What if he never got a chance to tell her anything ever again.

It's easy enough to push through most of the crowd, the security. After all, he is John Crichton, Astronaut who discovered alien life forms. But he is stuck at a nurses desk, being told to wait for the doctor to speak with him.

"I will not wait! He screams and with one swoop of his arm he reaches over and knocks everything flying off the desk to the floor. The nurse stood back in fear.

"I'm sorry. " He mumbles reluctantly through gritted teeth. "But my,...I mean...Aeryn Sun. She is here, I need to know if she is ok."

"She is stable." The nurse tells him, still backed up against the wall lest he have another outburst of anger. "The doctor will speak to you."

"I need to see her Aeryn. Now."

"That isn't possible."

"Why is that not possible?!" He demands, raising his voice.

"Miss Sun..." The nurse begins.

"Officer Sun!" He corrected angrily. "Do you even know your own patient? What kind of a hospital is this?!"

"Officer Sun specifically left instructions she did not want to see you." The nurse mutters fearfully.

"Great." Crichton says under his breath. "So she is trying to get me back because I blew her off at the house. Will these god damn games never end?!" He kicks at the nurses desk in frustration.

"Mr Crichton?" He hears his name and turns to find a doctor in a white coat. "My name is Dr Magnus, would you come with me."

"I need to see Aeryn." He insists.

"First let's talk in my office." The doctor calmly leads him into the office.

"Is Aeryn ok?" He demands.

"She is stable at the moment."

He feels the relief throughout his entire body. "What happened?"

"Best we can tell is that her body is having some kind of adverse reaction to the pregnancy." Dr Magnus explains.

"The pregnancy?" He repeats dumbly.

"Yes. Inadvertently during the medical exam when Aeryn first arrived on earth, our doctors released an embryo from stasis." The doctor admits.

"And the baby is making her sick?" Crichton is struggling to understand.

"It is not a baby of the Sebecean species, which is possibly why the reaction is so severe." Dr Magnus breaks the news to him without realising the significance.

"It's a human baby?" Crichton asks, hopefully.

"Yes." She acknowledges.

"I'm going to have a baby." He mutters in disbelief. Then a wide grin crosses his face, and louder he repeats it "I'm going to have a baby!"

"Mr Crichton, I am very sorry, but it is very unlikely Aeryn will carry the baby to term." Doctor Magnus tells him gently.

"Why?" He wants to know. "You must be able to do something."

"It seems like her body is programmed in some way, to prevent inter species breeding. Her body is trying to destroy the embryo, and is doing so by raising her body temperature."

"You can't let that happen!" Crichton warns. "When Sebaceans body temperature rises they get heat delirium, it causes irreversible brain damage, 'the living death', Aeryn would rather die than experience that kind of hell."

"I am aware of the concerns. I have discussed this with Aeryn, as well as D'Argo and Chianna. All I know about Sebacean heat delirium is what they have told me, but I can see it is something to be avoided at all costs." The doctor acknowledges.

"So what can we do? You can help, Aeryn, right? You have to help her!"

"The only thing to do, the only safe course of action to be certain to prevent heat delirium, is to terminate the pregnancy." Dr Magnus tells him sadly. "I am sorry."

Crichton felt a crushing pain in his chest. "Oh, I see." So fleeting was his joy, at being a father, at having a baby with Aeryn. All gone with just a few words.

"I'm very sorry." Dr Magnus repeats.

"But Aeryn will be ok? Aeryn has to be ok. That's what matters most." Crichton tells the doctor adamantly.

"I'm afraid that is up to Aeryn. At this point she is refusing to terminate the pregnancy."

"What? Thats insane! Aeryn wouldn't do that. She knows what heat delirium is. Why would she do that.?"

"She wants to save the baby." The doctor tells him.

"Will she?" He asks hopefully.

"No." Dr Magnus shakes her head sadly. "Once the heat delirium sets in, the same thing will happen to the baby. There is no way to save the baby, I'm sorry. That is the truth of it."

"Then why would Aeryn do this?" Crichton is puzzled.

"I don't think it's fully sunk in yet. She can't accept the fact that she would have to terminate the pregnancy. She isn't ready to let the baby go."

"But they will both die, or worse, if she doesn't."

"Yes. That is why I wanted to talk to you. I am hoping you can talk to her, help her come to terms with what needs to be done."

"Just terminate the pregnancy." Crichton orders. "I don't think I'm the person to get Aeryn to agree to anything.

"I can not do that against a patients wishes." Doctor Magnus informs him.

"Aeryn isn't even a citizen of this planet. All of the visitors are here under my protection. The decision is not hers to make." He felt a coldness in his soul as he said it. As if he had the right to take away Aeryn's choices. But bottom line is this- he will not lose her. He will not.

"Ordinarily I would be appalled by a man taking away decisions about a woman and her own body. But the fact is, both will die, or worse, if we don't terminate. And I do question Aeryn's state of mind. The fevers could be affecting her ability to make rational decisions. But if we terminate the pregnancy within the next few days, I can save Aeryn."

"Then save Aeryn. You have to save Aeryn, she is all I have. Let me talk to her."

"You should know, she doesn't want to see you."

"I know. I've been a jackass. I need to apologise, I need to tell her I'm sorry, I need to tell her about the termination, I have to be with her. She is delirious, you said so yourself. You don't know Aeryn, she pushes people away. This is my baby too, and I love Aeryn more than life itself. Please, let me see her. Let me explain about the termination. I am the only one who will get through to her. You said yourself you wanted me to talk to her."

Evidently the doctor is satisfied with his plea. "Ok, this way. I'll give you some time to talk to her, and I'll prepare for the procedure. Her room is second on the left. She is in the bathroom, we are trying to keep her temperature down in a cool bath. Your friends D'Argo and Chianna are with her.

"Thank you Doctor."

"I'm sorry, about the baby, Mr Crichton."

Crichton only nods sadly. He is sorry too. Maybe if he paid more attention, took better care of her, maybe she would not have got so sick. He can barely face her, he is full of shame, but he needs to be near her, he has to break through those walls, he can't let her go through this alone. "Just save Aeryn." He tells the doctor.

She nods in reply. "I will."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Part 1**_

_**Chapter 3 **_

When Crichton enters the bathroom, D'Argo is standing the doorway awkwardly. He acknowledges Crichton with a slight nod and a pat on the back. Crichton stands with D'Argo a moment. Just watching.

Aeryn is lying in the bath tub, in just her singlet and shorts. She is shivering uncontrollably. Chiana is sitting on the edge of the bath, holding her hand, telling her everything will be ok. And it stabs through him like a knife. He should be the one at her side. Holding her hand. Making sure she was ok. What had he done?

Only one way to make amends, and he hesitantly steps towards the bath tub.

Aeryn's eyes are closed, her head resting against the edge of the bath. Crichton sits on the other side of her, and softly calls to her. "Aeryn?"

Her teeth are chattering as she opens her eyes and tries to answer him. "John...what...do you...want?" She asks.

John turns to Chiana, "She is freezing, is this good for her?"

"What's it to you?" Chiana demands coldly.

"I heard what happened, I came as soon as I could. Why didn't you call me?" John asks, to Chiana, or Aeryn, or anyone who will answer him.

"She doesn't want you here Crichton, leave her the frell alone!" Chianna yells.

"Uhm...NO!" Crichton yells in reply. "Why don't you leave, this is none of your business, I need to talk to Aeryn."

"No." Aeryn protests weakly. "I ...want...her..to...stay."

Crichton takes a breath. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry."

"I don't ...want... you ….here Crichton, you ….don't want to be ….here." Aeryn manages to get the words out.

"That's not true Aeryn. Please, please. I am begging you. Do not push me away. There is nowhere I would rather be than here with you. Please don't do this to me."

There are tears welling in his eyes, and a look of confusion crosses Aeryn's face.

"I'm...not...doing anything...to..you." Aeryn protests between chattering teeth.

"You are pushing me away, please stop. I know I've been a total jerk. I owe you an apology, I owe you so much, but please don't push me away. It scared the life out of me when I saw you on the news, I thought you were dead, I came as fast as I could. And I'm sorry I fobbed you off before. I am so sorry for all the things I've said and done, Aeryn now isn't the time to hold a grudge, please, please, let me be with you."

"I don't...I cant..do this now." Aeryn tells him.

Suddenly the pain returns, the agonising pain that makes Aeryn feel like her body is being ripped into two, she can't help but scream and double over in agony.

"I'll get the doctor." D'Argo rushes out of the room.

As the pain subsides Aeryn relaxes back lying down in the bath. Crichton reaches out cradling her head in his hands as she lies back.

"It's ok." Chiana tells him. "The doctor said some cramping is normal."

"I love you Aeryn." He tells her, as he gently kisses the top of her head.

"You...cant...just come here now..and.." She can't finish,

"My god you are freezing." Crichton states, as he reaches out to hold her hand. How can her hands be so cold and her head so warm.

"It's the only thing keeping her temperature down." Chianna explains.

Crichton reaches forward, stroking her face. Sure enough, though her hand was ice cild, her head is still warm.

Something happens when he touches her face, Something more than just the tears that well in her eyes.

"Crichton I'm so sorry." Aeryn tells him as the tears fall earnestly.

"Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for baby." He soothes her.

"I should have done things differently, I should have rested more, I should have be more careful, maybe it was something I did, to your baby, how can you ever forgive me?" Aeryn asks through tears.

"Honey, listen to me, you did nothing wrong. Nothing. I am the one who made so many mistakes, who should have been by your side. It's not your fault, Aeryn. It's not." He tries to convince her.

"Do you want this baby John?" She asks.

"Oh Aeryn, of course. I want you, I want our baby. But I can't let you endanger your life like this. What is the point, you and the baby would be gone. I couldn't survive that. I need you to be ok. And things are going to be so different I promise you that."

Aeryn doesn't know what to say, so she changes the subject. "It really is freezing. I can't take it anymore." Aeryn acknowledges "Can you get me out of here, please?"

"Of course, honey." He tells her as he lifts her from the freezing water carrying her to the bed, wrapping her in a blanket to keep her warm, but careful not to over heat her.

She sits on the bed, huddled in the blanket, and looks him straight in the eye "I will not let them hurt my baby."

"Aeryn, I spoke to the doctor. There is no way the baby will make it to term."

"You don't know that! That doctor has never seen a Sebacean in her life!"

"Crichton." Chianna beckons him. "Not now. Just leave her for a bit, ok?"

"It's not your choice anyway Crichton!" Aeryn tells him.

"Ok" Chiana says, trying to bring the peace. "The doctor still has a couple of things to try right? So let's not get carried away."

"If they are things that endanger Aeryn then no way!" Crichton is adamant. "I am so sorry Aeryn, more than you will ever know, but over my dead body will I let anyone endanger your life."

"You don't know Crichton, how much I want this baby, how much I love this baby. You think of me as a heartless soldier."

"That isn't true. I know the capacity of your love better than anyone Aeryn, I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to save you."

"I don't want you to save me. If you can't save our baby then let me die with it." She says, meaning it with all her heart.

It frightens Crichton, the look in her eyes. "Aeryn you don't mean that."

"Yes I do." She insists boldly.

"Ok, well too bad. Because it actually IS my choice. You aren't a citizen of this planet, you have no actual rights, so it is my choice."

"Crichton lay off, what is wrong with you?!" Chiana screams at him.

"Crichton please?" Aeryn begs tearfully. When she sees Crichton won't budge something shifts in her eyes, a coldness, a darkness. "If you do anything to hurt my baby I will never ever forgive you." She threatens him. And this, just like her declaration that she wanted to die with her baby, she means one hundred percent.

Crchton doesn't know what to say to that. And luckily the Doctor returns at that precise moment.

"Aeryn, how are you feeling?" Doctor Magnus asks her.

"Better." She says, although she is feels decidedly worse

"Your temperature is still high." The doctor warns. "Your blood pressure too."

"But it's not getting higher." Aeryn points out.

"Can I examine the baby?" The doctor asks.

"Of course." Aeryn tells her.

Aeryn lies down on the hospital bed. Her hair still cold and wet from the cool bath water has started to curl around her pale face. She looks so vulnerable, and so beautiful.

To Crichton's surprise she beckons him over.

"Here" she says, placing his hand on her belly, "Right in here is our baby, I'll show you." He can not remember the last time he touched her like this.

He grasps her hand tightly and watches in awe as Doctor Magnus waves the ultrasound wand over Aeryn's tiny belly, and on the screen he can see it, the baby, a teeny tiny blob, but a baby. His baby. Their baby.

"See Crichton, that's out baby. And it's ok right?" Aeryn asks the doctor.

"Seems to be fine. But you know that is not the issues, Aeryn." The doctor warns. "But. Aeryn, I can see you are right, about the genetic modifications to your species, the foetus is bigger than I would expect at this stage."

"See, It will be ok." Aeryn says.

"There is still a long way to go." The doctor warns. "I still do not believe this baby will survive being carried to term, I don't want to give you false hope."

"But?" Aeryn asks.

"Using some blood from the baby's father, I may be able to come up with a serum that could speed the growth of the foetus even more. And if the foetus can reach a viable age, we could induce labour early before the heat delirium sets in. But that is a BIG if." Doctor Magnus makes clear.

"Do it." Aeryn gives consent without hesitation.

"Aeryn. I need you to hear me, there are no guarantees. I don't know what effect this will have on the baby, it is still possible the baby won't survive, I need you to hear that."

"I have to try." She pleads.

"Is it dangerous to Aeryn?" Crichton asks.

"No. Not Physically." The doctor tells him. "My concern is I don't want to provide false hope. And losing a baby at any stage of pregnancy is devastating. But the more the pregnancy progresses, the more real the baby becomes, it will be harder to lose a baby further down the line. I just don't want to make this harder for you."

"We aren't going to lose it." Aeryn insists. "When can you start?"

"A s soon as the baby has grown enough so we can hear a hear beat."

"When will that be?" Crichton asks.

"Possibly now. I can check. You sure you want to go through with this?"

"Crichton please, you have to give our baby every chance, please." Aeryn begged. "I could never forgive you if you give up on our baby, on me."

He nodded, "Ok. We'll do it." Crichton agrees.

"Ok then. Lets have some quiet I will see if I can find a heart beat." The doctor announces.

Aeryn held her breath as the Doctor probed her belly with the microphone.

Crichton burst into tears when he heard the sound of the tiny babies heart beating so fast, so strong. "Thats my baby?" he asked in disbelief.

"That's our baby, Crichton." Aeryn tells him. "See? That's our baby, and it's going to be fine."

"Ok," The doctor said "Looks like we can start today. The sooner the better if you want to do this. ' need you to come with me Mr Crichton to give blood, if thats ok."

"Of course." He agreed. "Anything."

Crichton leant over and kissed Aeryn, first on the top of her head, then her cheek where he could taste the salty tears that had fallen. Then, as she made no move to pull away, he kissed her on the lips. It had been so long since he kissed her like that. So long since she let him get that close. He was so caught up in the moment he didn't stop to wonder if she might object. If she minded, she didn't show it. His hand lingered over her belly.

"Aeryn, I love you. You know that right?" He asked.

"I love you too." She whispers back to him, without answering his question. He really wondered some time if she knew how much he loved her? He wouldn't blame her if she did not.

As Crichton leaves the room he is filled with mixed feelings, the joy of hearing the heart beat of his unborn baby, seeing his baby on the screen, kissing Aeryn, of her letting him near her...and the fear-if this doesn't work, if something happens, it will kill her. He will have to be the bad guy, to terminate the pregnancy, she will hate him, and worse...it really will kill her. He half wishes the doctor had shut her mouth about the stupid idea and just terminated the pregnancy, before he had seen the baby, before he and Aeryn heard it's heart beat. She would never get over it if he has to be the one to take that baby from her. Ever. But he knows he will do it, if he has to, because he could not endure losing her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

When Crichton returns to the room from giving blood, Aeryn smiles at him, almost smugly, as if she has won a victory.

"Thank you." She tells him. She then casts a look to Chiana, and Chiana suddenly decides that she and D'Argo have something urgent to do.

Crichton moves closer, sitting in the chair next to her bedside. She looks so pale, so exhausted, and yet so beautiful. Fighting for their baby's life with every piece of strength she had, she had never looked more beautiful to him.

"You don't have to thank me. I would do anything, anything in my power, for you, for our baby." Crichton tells her, as he reaches to feel her forehead. She is still burning up, and it scares him. He has seen her temperature reach higher levels, but not by much. History tells him it wont be long before she starts losing consciousness, getting confused, if the temperature keeps climbing. Perhaps he should have left her in the bath. But seeing her shivering like that, and pleading with him to take her out, he hadn't even thought about asking the doctor first if it was ok. "Aeryn, I mean it. I will do anything. Anything except endanger your life. And I won't apologise for that. I want to make that clear. From the start. I need you to know that."

"Ok." She nods reluctantly. "It will be ok, Crichton, you'll see. This baby is half Sebacean." She reminds him. "That Dr has no idea what a Sebacean baby is capable of."

"Oh, as if being half human is some kind of weakness?" He says jokingly.

"Well, you said it." She retorts with a playful smile.

"Pity you made a baby with a mere human then." He shoots back at her.

"I don't think so. Our baby is going to be beautiful." She says seriously . "The best parts of both of us."

"Or the worst parts, did you think about that." He jokes, but immediately regrets it.

"That would be unfortunate." She concedes, although she doesn't seem upset by his comment.

"Not really." He tries to redeem himself. "I can't think of any part of you that I wouldn't want my baby to have."

"Ha! Now I know you are lying to me! What? Just because I'm lying helpless in a hospital bed you feel the need to lie to me." She says it playfully, but there is a tinge of fear too behind her words. "I can think of plenty of things you dislike about me...

"No." He stops her. Gently silencing her with a single finger pressed to her lips. "Don't go there. I know I have said and done a lot of things. And don't get me wrong, you frustrate me beyond belief sometimes. The things I said, the way I acted, It was never really about you. It was my own issues. I was hurt. I was afraid. I was an idiot. We both made mistakes. And I am sorry beyond what any words can tell you. But you, Aeryn, are strong, stubborn in your convictions, and so beautiful. Inside and out so beautiful. When I look at you lying here, suffering, giving every ounce of strength you have to save our baby, You have never looked more beautiful to me. I would be blessed as a father if our baby took after you."

"Well now." Aeryn teases. "Now I fell obliged to say the same about you." She muses. "But I just can't" She jokes, or at least he _thinks_ she is joking. "You never give up, Crichton. Never. Even when it seems things are impossible. Why was it so easy for you to give up on our baby?" She wants to know, needs to know. And even though she told herself she would remain calm, talk to him rationally, she can't help the frelling tears that well up in her eyes. She once again attributes it to the human-ness of the baby inside her, turning her into an emotional wreck.

It hurts him, physically, in his chest, to see the pain in her eyes. He doesn't want to spend the next nine months, nine weeks, nine days, however long this was going to go on for, arguing with her or upsetting her. Best they get it out in the open not. "It was not easy, Aeryn. Hardest thing I've ever ever had to do. Please listen to me. I love you, Aeryn, I was so afraid of losing you, and that outweighed everything else. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt me. It hurt me deeply, when the doctor told me that the baby was in danger. I didn't know there was a baby. I mean I knew there was a baby, in some kind of stasis, I didn't know it was growing inside you, I didn't know it was mine. I saw you on the news, D'Argo carrying you into the hospital. I thought you were sick or dead. That I would never get to see you again, to tell you what you mean to me. This all came as a shock to me."

"I'm sorry," She acknowledges. He really was doing his best under the circumstances.

"No, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for." He tells her.

"I've know about the pregnancy, ever since the first day we landed. I knew it was yours ever since the first night we were here, when the fevers started. I should have told you, I didn't know how..." her voice trails off as she can't hold back the tears.

"I am the one who is sorry. I know I have been caught up in myself, in returning here, it wasn't what I expected. I pushed you away, why should you confide in me? That's why you came to the house isn't it? To tell me about the baby?"

She nods, afraid that speaking again will make the tears start flowing.

"I'm sorry. I think of all those nights you spent alone, when you were sick and your temperature was rising, how scared you must have been. How alone you must have felt. God, Aeryn, if I could turn back time I would have been there with you for all of it. I would have held you when you were afraid, I wouldn't have let you go through it alone. Hell, I wouldn't have come here. We would have gone to some Sebacean colony, found a Sebacean doctor who could help you and the baby..." Crichton too has tears welling in his eyes.

"John, there is no use thinking like that. We are here now, you, me, our baby."

"Aeryn, I wish so badly I could make this all ok for you." He tells her.

"It will be ok. You can make it ok. Trust me, and give our baby a chance. I know this baby is a survivor. Don't give up on it."

"I won't let anything happen to you, you understand me, don't you?"

"Even it it was what I wanted?" She asks. "You would go against my wishes, as if I have no say at all?" She asks already knowing the answer.

"Yes."

_At least he admits it,_ she thinks to herself.

"You would sacrifice our baby, to keep me?" She presses him.

"I don't know Aeryn, I really don't. But that's not the issue. The issue is, I could have lost you AND the baby. Those were my choices, lose both of you, or lose the baby and keep you, there was no other option, and in my mind there was no choice."

"If there had been.." She pushes the point. "If you had a choice, between saving me or saving the baby..."

"I could not lose you." He tells her. "I won't apologise for that. Besides, that's not the situation that we have, so let's not talk about it, ok. I don't know what I would do if I had to choose. But that isn't my choice. You do realise that this early in the pregnancy, if you die, the baby dies. There is no sense in that Aeryn. It breaks my heart yes, but there is no sense in sacrificing yourself for a baby you can't save." His words are harsher than he meant, but he was trying desperately to get through to her. He needed to see some sort of acceptance in her eyes.

"So you would do what you wanted, what made you happy, and disregard my wishes?" She clarified.

"If it meant saving you from a pointless death, then yes! What is so wrong with that?" Crichton wants to know .

"Nothing wrong with it. But it would be a rather pyrrhic victory, Crichton, Because I would hate you, I would very possibly kill you. At the very least, you would be dead to me." She tells him simply.

He does pause, and he considers the strong sentiment behind her words, and the truth of them. He wonders about it, the pyrrhic victory as she called it. He wonders if Sebaceans have a word for pyrrhic or had she been speaking in english again. He supposes given the militant base of the peace keeper society they probably did have a word all of their own. And he can see it. His victory, of saving her life, and the cost to him of losing her all together, of breaking her. He doesn't believe it thought, he believes she would, cold as it sounds, get over it. Eventually. With his help, she would get over it. As long as they were both alive, they would be fine.

"Please, baby. We aren't there yet, Can we just stop all this. Just enjoy being here with each other. With the baby. All this arguing and worrying can't be good for you or the baby. Can't we just love each other, enjoy this time. You were right ok, the doctor does have some ideas, and I will try anything I can, as long as it doesn't endanger you. Lets fight this fight together. I know that baby is growing inside of you, not me, but it's our baby, not just yours, let me do this with you, stop fighting me every step of the way, stop pushing me away. Please?"

It's tempting just to fall against and believe him that everything will be fine. But if she has learnt one thing from her conversation with him, it's that he would save her life at any cost. He would wilfully disregard any of her wishes. And he doesn't even feel bad about it. He is right on one point though, she should be resting and putting all her energy into the baby. Besides, she doesn't want to fight him anymore, let him think he has won her over. That way he won't see it coming.

He takes her hands, grasping them firmly "I am just so glad, that I have a chance, to tell you so many things, I thought I never would."

"Why didn't you say them at the time?" She wants to know. Thinking back on all the times she needed him. All the times he ignored her and treated her as if she didn't exist. All the times she uncharacteristically went out of her way to reach him, trying to get his attention, and he just walked past her as if he hated her. He had to know how much that hurt and humiliated her.

"I was an idiot." He shrugs.

"I hope our baby doesn't inherit that idiot part." She smiles, trying so hard to push aside the pain. Crichton was right. All the negativity wasn't good for the baby. She believed the baby could feel their love, could feel Crichton. It was so tiny inside her still that she coudln't feel it moving, but every time Crichton touched her she felt a flutter in her belly.

"Lie next to me." She invited him, as she wiggled over in the narrow hospital bed to make room for him.

He snuggles alongside her, pulling her closer than he has held her in a long long time.

"This bed is as hard as rocks!" He proclaims. "I'm gonna complain about that, how can you get any rest in this bed?"

Ordinarily the thought of Crichton being all protective made her slightly nauseous, but somehow she just feels safe, just feels like she is the baby, curled up in his arms, and for a moment lets herself drift away into the fantasy that he really will make everything ok.

"It's ok, I didn't notice." She assures him.

"I will get something better." he promises.

"Not now though, don't leave now." She all but begs him.

" I wont leave you." He promises.

She takes his hand, splaying it across her belly. If you looked really closely you could see a small bump. Only if you were looking for it. He couldn't feel a baby in there, but he knew it was there. His child.

"The baby likes it when you do that." She says. "The baby can feel it. When you touch me, when you speak, it knows you are it's daddy. And it feels safe and secure." _And so do I, _she wants to add but does not.

"You have no idea, Aeryn, how helpless I feel. How much I wish I could do something. To help you and the baby."

"You are doing something. You gave your blood to Dr Magnus, she is working on a serum. And , you're here. You think I'm crazy, but the baby knows you're here."

"I don't think you're crazy honey." He tells her.

"The baby knows. I can tell. All those nights when I was alone, things felt different. And now you are here, well I just know the baby knows you're here."

"He gently rubs her belly, trying to come to terms with the fact there is a baby, his baby inside there.

"I know you are holding back" she tells him.

"What do you mean?" He asks in genuine confusion.

"You are scared, of losing the baby, you don't want to get attached, you think I'm too attached. Like it or not, there is a real growing baby in there."

She was right, he was trying not to get attached, because he would be the one to battle with her about terminating the pregnancy if things got worse. She was also right, the baby was real. Like it or not.

He gently kisses her abdomen,"I know my baby, our baby, is in there. And I will do everything I can for the baby. But I need to be prepared, I need you to be prepared, that something might happen." He says gently.

"Stop." she orders, and pushes him away,

"Aeryn, as long as we had each other, as long as we survive, we can have other babies"

"Oh, So this one doesn't matter?" She asks bitterly "Why didn't you say so, let's just kill it then!" She pushed his hands away from her belly, but she was still snuggled in his arms, and despite her angry words she made no move to get away from his embrace.

"This baby matters, will always matter, whatever happens, This is our first baby. I just want you to be prepared. To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to be so..."

"So what?"

"So maternal, so attached." He admits.

"Because i'm a heartless soldier with no emotions right?"

"No. Because I've never seen the maternal side of you. And it's beautiful, Aeryn, I'm not trying to take that from you. I just need you to be aware, this is a high risk pregnancy, the outcome is not guaranteed. And whatever happens i'm here for you, with you."

Part of her wants to smack him, and part of her wants to kiss him. She does neither. She needs to stop fighting him about this. Needs him to think she has _"seen sense._" Or he won't trust her. And if the time comes she has to make a decision he doesn't like, she is counting on the fact she has his implicit trust.

"I know." She acknowledges. I'm not in denial Crichton I know. And if the time comes...well we will deal with it. I just can't talk about it now. Please?" She begs tearfully. How could he say no to that?

"Ok baby, I'm sorry, And thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For letting me in, not pushing me away. Forgiving me the way I've treated you, for fighting so hard for our baby, you are amazing."

For the longest while neither or them speak. She just lays in his arms, enjoying it while she can. Finally she asks him what has been on her mind ever since she found out about the baby.

"John?" She asks.

"Yeah, honey?"

"I want to go back to Moya."

"Really?" He asks.

"Does that surprise you? I know this is your home, I know my home is long gone to me. Moya and Pilot, they are the only home I have had for a long time. I'm sorry, this planet isn't home to me, I born in space, as was my mother, her mother, and so on. I know you used to dream about us, making a home here, a family."

"The fact is Aeryn, we can't stay here forever even if I wanted to. How long before the Scarrans followed us? And god knows who else. I've known for a while our time here is short lived. "

"Would you have stayed though, without us?"_ Without me?_ She thinks

"No. I would have gone back to Moya with the rest of you. Like you said, Moya is home now. But honey, we have no medical equipment, no doctor."

"We could take things with us, ask the doctor what we need to do."

"If the baby is premature they have so many facilities here to help. We have nothing on Moya."

She nods, happy that at least he is talking about the baby as if it is real. And it is a valid point she can not disagree with. But still, she isn't happy here, and feels the need to let him know. "You may be right, Crichton. But is that the real reason you want to stay here? Or is it, like you said, because I do't' belong here and you have total control over every decision?"

"Aeryn, honey, I didn't mean that."

"You meant it."

"I didn't mean it as it sounded to you. I was so scared of losing you...and you looked so sick and so pale, and I was terrified."

I"t's true though, I have no rights here, to decide anything." She tells him defeatedly.

"Honey, let me tell you, even if we went back to Moya, you would have no opportunity to risk your life in any way, I wouldn't allow it. Not here, not there."

"You wouldn't allow it?" She mocks him.

'

"No." He states simply.

"I'm not your child , don't I get any say in this? I'm just the one carrying your baby."

"Aeryn, please, seriously, you would prefer you both die, and leave me here alone..."There are tears in Crichton's eyes, so she can't very well say "_Hell yes that's what I prefer."_

"We cant stay here, John. What about the press? Wait until they find out about humans breeding with aliens. They will take our baby, they will experiment on it..."

"I would never let that happen. We'll spin some story for the press, just stay out of sight until this is over."

"Because that wont look suspicious at all." She says sarcastically."

"Let's not talk about it anymore, we agreed."

"Ok." She nods.

John pulls her closer still, enjoying the feeling of her body next to his. "I know you don't like it here." he acknowledges. "I know it's not easy for you in this place. I forget sometimes, how I first felt on Moya, what it's like to feel like you don't belong. But Your home is with me, Aeryn. You belong with me."

"Do I?" She asks.

"Tell me what can I do to make it feel more like home? I can go to Moya, get some of you rthings?" He offers.

"No." She answers quickly. "Don't go. Stay with me."

"I'll get one of the others, tell me what you want and i'll get it for you." He promises.

"I just want you to stay with me, that's all I want." She tells him wearily.

"Done." He tells her, and he watches as she closes her eyes, he literally can see the anxieties of the day fade away as she drifts into a peaceful slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 **_

Crichton can't explain the feeling of watching her, holding her, as she slept so peacefully. She looked as if she hadn't a care in the world. He couldn't take his hand away from her belly, their baby, this tiny person, that she believed in so much, that made her smile in a way he had never seen, that gave her such hope. Maybe it would all crumble to pieces, but right here, right now he had her in his arms, her, their baby, and nothing could feel any better.

It was four hours before she woke, the longest she had slept since she had been pregnant. "You're still here." She said, as if it shocked her.

"Where else would I be?" He asks.

"You don't have to be here all the time." She lets him off the hook.

"You want me to go?" He seems hurt by this, which was not her intent.

"No. Just, you look so tired, too. And I know your family must miss you. At least go take a shower, I'll be here when you get back." She reassures him.

"I don't want to leave you alone." He protests.

"I'm not alone, there are nurses, and Dr Magnus." She continues.

"I would feel better if someone came to sit with you." He said.

As is on cue Chiana appeared at the doorway.

"Am I interrupting something?" She asks with a coy smile on her face.

"No" Aeryn told her. "I was telling Crichton he should get some rest, take a shower."

"Good idea. You stink." Chiana confirms.

"Very funny."

"I will stay with Aeryn until you get back. We will call you if we need you." Chiana insists.

"Ok." John gave in, partly because it made Aeryn happy, partly because he would feel better after a shower and a couple hours rest, and partly because he had no chance against the two of them ganging up against him. And Aeryn seemed better, after the Dr had started the treatments. The Dr had mentioned many side effects, everything from headaches, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, hypertension, cramping, bleeding, hyperthermia, and those we only the ones he remembered. But it had been several hours since the first injection of the serum, and Aeryn seemed fine.

He kissed her goodbye "Are you sure you'll be ok?" He asks once more.

"I think I'lll live for a couple of hours without you." She teases.

"And call me..." He starts.

"Yes!" Both girls said to him before he could even finish.

"All right I know when I'm not wanted, I'm going, I'm going."

"So you and John seem to have made up?" Chiana smirks

"Is he gone?" Aeryn asks.

"What do you mean, you just saw him leave." She points out.

"Make sure he is really gone."

"Chiana steps to the doorway, peering out. "He just got on the elevator."

"Good." Aeryn sighs in relief.

"Why? Looked like you two were pretty cosy."

"I just don't want him to worry."

"About what?"

"I just can't keep smiling for him and pretending I feel fine."

"I'll get the Dr." Chiana offers .

"No, don't. She will be back soon, anyway. She said it was a normal side effect of the serum. But John will just panic and get upset."

"Because he loves you very much, of course he worries."

"I just can't deal with his worrying on top of everything."

"Fair enough." Chiana says, but Aeryn can tell she does not understand.

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Nothing. You don't have to stay just because you promised Crichton."

"I want to stay. Besides, Crichton would kill me if I left. You don't have to pretend for me."

With that tears ran down Aeryn's face. "I am glad you are here."

"Can I get you something? Water?"

"Talk to me, tell me something, anything, just talk."

Chiana does her best, dragging up the most amusing stories she has about pre- Moya existance. She embellishes now and then, but doesn't think Aeryn is even listening. She notices then the small pool of blood forming in the bed.

"I really think I should get the Dr." Chiana says, again.

This time Aeryn agrees with her, and that's how Chiana knows she is worried.

The doctor, as always, came quickly, and with reassurance. "There is some bleeding and pain to be expected, it's perfectly normal. Your temperature is elevated, but not as high as it has been. Your blood pressure is ok, The baby's heart rate is good."

"So the baby is ok? Even though I'm bleeding? Even though it's so painful?"

"Yes. I realise it's painful, but it's a normal reaction to the serum. Normal perhaps isn't the right word. Even your sebacean body was not intended to accelerate the pregnancy that quickly. It's bound to be uncomfortable. I can get something for the pain." The Dr offers.

It's not the pain itself bothering Aeryn, it's that it just can't be right, to be bleeding, and having such severe abdominal pain. It can't be good for the baby.

"No, that will hurt the baby." Aeryn insists, she has already decided she won't take any unnecescary risks.

"A small amount on occasion won't do any harm." The Dr tells her.

"No." Aeryn shakes her head, tears now streaming down her face. "Do you wan't me to call Crichton?" Chiana asks.

"No, please, that's the last thing I want, please don't, I don't want him to see me like this. You don't have to stay either."

"I stay or I'm calling him." Chiana declared as she sat beside Aeryn, taking her hand.

"When did the pain start?" The Dr asked.

"I don't know. I was asleep. It woke me."

"Intermittent or constant?"

"It began constant but now its intermittent."

"It will get worse before it gets better."

"But the baby is ok?"

"Perfectly. Like you , it's possible the baby may experience some mild short term discomfort."

Aeryn would hardly call it mild pain. "The baby is in pain?" She asks. That was something that she had not considered. It was fine for her to endure pain to protect her baby, but to know this treatment was hurting the baby, that wasn't part of the deal.

"There is no way to really know how much pain the baby is in." The Dr admits. "The heart rate is slightly elevated at times, but that may be from your temperature, a reaction to the serum, it may be pain. But it is within normal limits and nothing to worry about.

"But thats my baby, It's my job to keep her safe." Aeryn protests. She had taken to saying "she" even though she did not know or have a preference for a sex. "She" simply sounded more humane than "it".

"This is the best thing you can do to protect your baby is survive, and help you baby survive. This pain is temporary."

"She isn't even born yet and she is suffering."

Aeryn cant help but cry in agony when the next lot of cramps hit her. Chiana does not panic, not like Crichton would. She just holds her hand, strokes her hair, just sits there, knowing instinctively when to talk and when to be quiet.

"This can't be right. All this pain. And the baby. I should be able to protect my own baby from pain." Aeryn insists, becoming increasingly unravelled.

"I promise you, everything is fine, your baby is fine, the pain won't last for long." The Dr repeats, losing patience.

"Relax? How can I relax? My tiny baby is in pain, I Don't know what to do, I don't know how to fix it." Aeryn cries out.

Chiana reaches out to stroke her face, because no matter what, Aeryn isn't usually this upset. "She is burning up."

"That's not unexpected either, the temperature fluctuates up and down. As long as the temperature doesn't stay too elevated for too long there is no problem." The Dr says absently.

"Shouldn't you do something?" Chiana demands more than asks.

"I'll turn the air con up, you can get a cool cloth for her forehead, it's not very high tech but that's all we can do. It's not abnormal for fluctuations like this." The Dr snaps back.

"You have to do something!" Aeryn insists. "For the baby, you can't let my baby suffer in pain." She cries.

"As I said, I can give you a mild pain killer, the effects will transfer through the placenta to the baby, it may bring some relief, but it may jeopardise the baby's growth." The Dr explains.

"No, you can't do that." Aeryn agrees. They really hadn't had time to talk about any of these consequences. Everything happened so fast by necessity.

"What will help, is if you relax, take some deep breaths." The doctor reaches for the oxygen mask "Here, put this on, it will help you breathe."

"You're trying to poison me!" Aeryn says, pulling the mask away. "You're trying to kill my baby,"

"Aeryn she is trying to help you." Chiana reassures her.

"It's the heat, she doesn't understand, don't be alarmed by her confusion." The Dr says calmly.

"I'm not confused!" Aeryn insists. You did this to me, injected me with something, causing me pain, causing my baby pain."

Chiana observes as suddenly Aeryn's face had gone from completely composed to completely broken, afraid, grimacing in pain. She understands now, why Aeryn had not wanted John present.

"Don't touch me!" Aeryn screams at the Dr. "Stay away."

"Aeryn." Chiana calls to her. "Calm down."

"You too, you're in on it aren't you? Did Crichton put you up to this ? This is what he wants. He never wanted this baby, he never wanted me!" Aeryn accuses.

"Aeryn, that isn't true," Chiana knows she is wasting her breath, but says it anyway.

"What have you done? Make this pain stop;" Aeryn pleads.

"Aeryn, I can't do anything now, the effects of the serum can't be reversed, even IF I believed you wanted me to. Your temperature is elevated, you aren't able to think clearly.

"You are trying to confuse me!" Aeryn insists. There is something about this Dr that rings alarm bells.

"Aeryn, your heart rate and blood pressure are too high, you need to calm down, please put this on, you need to make sure the baby has enough oxygen." The Dr tells her.

Aeryn weakly tries to push the mask away but has little strength. She writhes in pain, moaning intermittently, she dislodged the IV from her arm, causing more blood to spill.

"It's quite alright, the bleeding and pain is normal, the baby's heart is fine, but your temperature is high, and that can cause the baby damage." The Doctor tries, in vain, to explain again.

"No something is very wrong." Aeryn tries to tell her.

"This really can't be right..." Chiana too starts to worry.

"If you are not going to help calm her down then get out, You're not helping encouraging her paranoid delusions, all of this, temperature, delirium, cramps, bleeding, nausea, headaches, all expected side effects."

"Ok." acknowledged, not convinced but not wanting to be thrown out. Chiana tries her best to calm Aeryn, talking to her again, about anything and everything.. She doesn't know if it helps. But she feels useful.

"I can't do this." Aeryn says weakly.

"Shh you're doing great, this part will be over soon, the Dr said so." Chiana encourages her.

It's not really what Aeryn means. What she means is that if she can't handle a couple of hours of pain and discomfort, how can she have a baby. How can she be a moter. How when she can not even protect her baby before its born. The baby is in pain because of her. Because she is of heat delirium. And on top of that, the genetic modifications, made by sebacean peacekeepers, to prevent breeding with other species, that had designed her body to react to a foreign species and destroy it, or die in the process.

Aeryn has now worked herself into near hysteria. She is crying, and trying to speak through the oxygen mask, barely able to catch her breath, she is doubled over in pain, sweat dripping from her forehead. Dr Magnus is forcibly holding the mask to her face as Aeryn tries in vain to push her aside.

"I can't, Im …...not strong …...enough." She tries to say .

"Shhh. You're doing great, the worst part is over, you'll feel better soon." Chiana soothes her, encouraging her to lie back and rest. Aeryn can barely keep her eyes open.

"I can do any of this" Aeryn tries so hard to explain to them. But no one understands her. Aeryn admits, the oxygen helps her breathe, makes her feel cooler as if she isn't about to melt, but it does nothing to stop the cramping pain, and she has given up trying to hide the pain, she groans in agony as the pain grips her intermittently.

"Aeryn," The Dr calls her attention. "Look."

"Aeryn looks to where the Drs attention is focused, her belly is growing, right before her eyes, she can see already that the baby has grown in the past hours. She reaches her hands down, running them over the baby bump that had not been evident earlier that day.

This brought a psychological relief of sorts, the baby was growing, but the baby was also in pain. Aeryn hoped the pain was not so excruciating for the poor little thing as it was for her.

It was all too much. Aeryn's eye rolled back in her head.

"Aeryn" The doctor shook her. "Stay with me. Keep your eyes open."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

That's what Crichton walked into. First he heard Aeryn moaning in pain all the way down the hall, then he walked in to blood stained sheets, the doctor forcibly holding the mask to her face, muffling her cries, tears staining her face grimacing in agony, Aeryn writhing in pain in Chiana's arms, semiconscious and sweating profusely. As the doctor violently shook her.

"Aeryn!" He rushed to her "What the hell are you dong to her ?" He demands

"Calm down!" The Dr scolded him." We need to keep her calm. Her temperature is rising, she is delirious, I'm not "Doing" anything to her."

He could not very well be calm but he tried his best, for Aeryn. He pushed Chiana aside, giving her a dirty look. Why had she not called him? That was it, he was never leaving Aeryn again.

"Whats happening?' He asked, as calmly as he was able.

"Like I said, it's normal to expect side effects." The Dr explained for what felt like the hundredth time.

"So she is ok?"

"She is fine."

"She is in pain."

"It is temporary. And the baby is fine too, if you want to know" The Dr snaps at him.

"Can't you do something to help her?" He pleads.

"I am doing all I can, we just have to wait it out, keep her calm, and stop her temperature getting higher." The

Dr answers brusquely .

"This wasn't supposed to happen, this is way too experimental, this isn't working, you're not giving her any more of that serum." Crichton demanded.

"It's working."The Dr assured him. "Look."

As the Dr pulled back the bed sheet, John could see the baby bump growing, he had been gone maybe an hour or two, and already he could see the huge difference. He was speechless as he lay his hand across her belly.

Aeryn looked to him then, as if she just realised he was there. She sat up, throwing herself into his arms, crying.

"Shhhh" she soothed her "It's ok baby." John rocked her back and forth. Her arms folded protectively across her stomach and tears in her eyes, he felt so helpless. All he could do was hold her and be with her while she endured this pain alone. It hurt him too though, not physically like it hurt her, but on a whole other level, and he found himself once again wishing ,guiltily, that the baby had just been terminated. He had never seen Aeryn in so much pain. And it was more than physical pain, more than delirium. This pregnancy was taking a toll on her. And with the way things were accelerated neither one of them had chance to get used to any of this. It's not that she had never cried in his arms, but he could count on one hand the number of times she had thrown herself into his arms for solace.

"What can I do?" He asked the Dr.

"You are doing it. Her blood pressure is stabilising already. Just keep her calm, she is stable."

"She is in pain, and her temperature is way too high." He protests.

"The temperatures is coming down slowly, it's improving, and the pain won't last forever. It's an unfortunate side effect, but it's necessary. You can't accelerate a pregnancy at this rate without some pain. Just be with her."

And so, that's what he did, helplessly, because he had nothing else to offer her. He held her and rocked her, gently rubbing her back, stroking her hair, whispering in her ear how much he loved her, how proud he was of her. How he wished he could take the pain away, how it would all be worth it for their beautiful baby. Those words caught in his throat, knowing there was something like a 10% chance the baby would even survive. But if Aeryn needed to hear it to get through this, he would say it. What took him by surprise was that she never pulled away from him, she let him hold her, she must really have been delirious. She was always quick to push him away, slow to seek him out for comfort. As if it was a weakness.

Come to think of it, she had been so keen to get rid of him earlier.

Slowly as Crichton held her, even sang to her, she calmed. The sobbing subsided, thought the pain did not. She made no move to leave his embrace so he just held on to her for as long as she needed, without a word. When she finally pulled away, she all buy collapsed back into the bed, looking deathly pale, with a kind of pain in her eyes he had never seen.

He brushed the tears from her eyes gently, "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better." She said.

"Are you still in pain?" He asked.

"A little. Is the baby ok?" She wanted to know.

"The baby is doing great, strong heart beat. Do you want to see?" The Dr asked, wheeling the ultra sound machine over towards them.

"Please." Aeryn begged.

As Aeryn and John looked to the monitor in disbelief, they saw their baby, grown so much, starting to take on recognisable characteristics. John reached for Aeryn's hand squeezing it. "Look at that honey, look at our baby, you are so amazing, look what you did."

"We did." She said. "We made her."

"Her?" John asked.

"Or him." Aeryn said

"Is there something I should know,"He teases.

"No." Aeryn answers quickly." I just feel awful saying 'it'."

"I can tell you the sex.." The doctor offers.

"No, its a surprise." Aeryn insists.

"Whatever you want honey." John told her, kissing the top of her head. "Your fever is gone." He announced.

"I'm so sorry." Aeryn tells him.

"What for?"

"I wasn't expecting it to be so painful, I was afraid, I over reacted, I should have been able to cope with this. How will I ever be able to be a mother? "

"Honey, you are going to be the best mother. Look at all you are doing, all you put yourself through, to help the baby."

"The baby deserves better." Aeryn insists.

"Don't say that, ever. You are so amazing. I've seen you in pain Aeryn, sick, injured, shot, stabbed, you have a high tolerance. I've never seen you in so much pain. And you are willing to do that to save our baby. That's what a mother does. Puts the child's needs first."

The dr interjects then, "The pain would have been excruciating. I should have warned you, I was hoping it might not be so bad, my knowledge of Sebaceans is limited. The next shot won't be as bad, I will adjust the mixture."

"No." Aeryn protests. "It's working, the baby is growing and healthy. Don't change a thing."

"Hold on, I'm not sure we should do this again. I mean the baby is grown so much already. Do we need to do it again?" Crichton asks, not wanting to go through that again.

"In human equivalent the baby is, by my estimation , between 18-20 gestation." The Dr tells them.

"What does that mean?" Aeryn asks

"Roughly, half way." John explains to her.

"I strongly advise another shot of the serum, if the growth accelerates as I predict, the second shot of serum would take the pregnancy to 30-34 weeks, which makes for a viable foetus if we need to induce labor. To stop the treatment now, I don't have any way of knowing how long until the baby is viable. Or how long the pregnancy can be maintained with the heat delirium." The Dr explains.

"Then we will continue the treatments." Aeryn insists.

"Do I get any say?" Crichton asks.

"Why wouldn't you want to?" Aeryn wants to know.

"Aeryn you were in so much pain, and your temperature skyrocketed. Maybe its safer to wait and see for a bit?" He suggests.

"No. We can't gamble with out baby's life like that." Aeryn is insistent, and Crichton knows there and then, he is not going to have any say.

"You can talk about it tonight, I can't give the second shot until the morning, there needs to be 24 hours between doses." And with that, the doctor left the room.

"Don't look at me like that." Crichton warns

"Like what?" Aeryn wants to know.

"Like I'm the bad guy. I just don't want to put you through that again."

"No harm done. And if you don't like it, you don't have to stay." Aeryn explains.

"Oh, no, you don't get to say that to me! You know I would never leave you, I told you to call me if you needed me. But you know that, don't you? That's why you sent me away this morning, And you Chiana you were supposed to call me!"

"Don't take it out on her, I asked her to stay with me, I asked her not to call. She never left my side. She didn't do anything wrong."

"I think it's time I be going." Chiana mutters, waiting for the moment to make her exit before a full blown argument explodes. She leans over kissing Aeryn on the cheek, "I hope you feel better soon. Don't be too hard on John. He really cares." She whispers.

"Why did you send me away?" Crichton asks after Chianna has left, though his tone has calmed significantly.

"John, please, don't be angry with me."

"I'm not angry." He says. What kind of a man would he be if he was angry with her while she was pregnant and fighting so hard for their baby's life?

"I just didn't want to upset you." Aeryn tries to explain.

"You didn't want to upset me? Don't you think it upsets me that you push me away like that? I mean you let my Chiana come here and be with you, but you push me away." The pain in his voice is evident.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong." Not something you often heard from Aeryn Sun. Ever. He couldn't help himself.

"Excuse me I didn't catch that can you repeat it?" He teases.

She smiles at him in response, and that was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"I was afraid you wouldn't want the treatments to continue if you saw how much it hurt me. And I couldn't keep pretending that it didn't hurt."

"Why would you have to pretend? Do you know how that makes me feel? That when you are in pain you push me away."

"I said I was sorry."

"I just don't understand."

"I didn't want you to see me like that, so weak. How could I be a good mother if I fall apart at the slightest little bit of pain and distress?"

"Aeryn, there is nothing wrong with being in pain, with being afraid, with needing someone. I'm sorry that I'm not what you want in me..." He says defensively.

"No John, you are perfect, it's not you. I was so happy to see you." "Then stop pushing me away, please."

"You don't even want to continue with the treatments." She tells him.

"I just hate seeing you like that." He says in defence.

"Which is why I wanted to spare you." She replies in her own defence.

"Aeryn I hate seeing you in pain, I hate even more knowing you're in pain and I'm not there, that you don't even WANT me around."

"Please John, let the Dr finish the treatments, at least one more time. I can take it. I can take it, for the baby, and if you cant be here I understand. I didn't ask you to be here, but if you wanna be here then you have to accept my choices, and it will be painful." She warns him.

"Aeryn, if you ever send me away like that when you are in pain..." He can't quite finish the sentence, unable to think of a suitable ultimatum that would deter her. "Well, just, don't."

"Ok." She rubs her hand over her belly

"Are you still in pain?"

"No, it just feels so strange." She admits.

"Can you feel it inside you?"

"Not really, I cant feel it moving, but I can feel it's there, growing." She tries to explain to him, but the words fail her.

"It's kind of a shame this is going so fast, you look so beautiful, pregnancy suits you." He compliments her.

"Really?" She asks in earnest, rather than shying away from his compliment or making a joke.

"Really." He assures her. "And I am so proud of you."

It wasn't long before Aeryn fell asleep, exhausted by the earlier events. Crichton slept in the chair beside her bed. She didn't invite him into the bed this time, and he didn't invite himself. There was still this great divide between them. The baby. The thing that should be drawing them together. She was willing to sacrifice herself for the baby, and he was not willing to sacrifice her. Sacrifice himself yes, but not her. And no matter how much they tip toe around it, bite their tongues from what they are really thinking for the sake of keeping Aeryn calm, It was always there, unspoken, the void between them.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7 **_

The Dr returned first in the morning, and asked Aeryn how she was feeling.

"Fine." She answered.

"And your temperature?"

"It spiked twice overnight, but it came down quickly."

"It did?" Crichton asked. "You didn't wake me."

"There was nothing you could do. I didn't want to bother you."

"You have to stop thinking like that!" Crichton lectured her, lovingly. While Dr Magnus busied herself checking the charts and monitors.

"The baby's heart rate is strong. This is the best outcome we could have hoped for. Still want to continue today?"

Aeryn looked to John, as if seeking his opinion, though he know his word on the matter was worth nothing. He appreciated the gesture though, and nodded to her.

"Yes." Aeryn told her.

"I'm not leaving this time, so don't even try it. I told you I would fight along side you, and if you can take it, I can take it." He squeezes her hand.

It was some hours post injection before the pain started. Again Aeryn had fallen asleep. He noticed the bleeding through the sheets, but didn't wake her. Soon enough the pain would wake her. He was right. She began moaning in her sleep, grasping at her stomach. That's when he gently shook her awake.

"You were moaning in your sleep." He explains.

"I'm sorry." She replies sleepily.

"Don't be sorry. Are you in pain?"

"A little." She admits. "Not too bad."

"What can I do?" He asks

"What is my temperature?"

"It's fine, it's been good today."

"Good, then can you ask the nurse for a heat pack."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Just for a little while, while my temperature is ok, it will help."

"Sure thing." He answers, eager to help, to DO something. "You're not just getting rid of me right?" He joked.

"No, I'm not." She promised.

He returned in minutes with he heat pack, which looked to small across her every growing belly.

"Is that better?" He asks.

She nods, unable to speak.

When the next cramp hit she grimaces in pain and squeezes his hand tightly. Then apologises to him

"Don't apologise baby, for anything, You don't have to pretend everything is ok, I know its painful."

"Help me sit up?" She asks.

He does so, rubbing her back gently.

"That's nice." she tells him between the painful bouts. She leans into his embrace and he just holds her, as he had done yesterday ,while she moans in pain and cries, as he had never seen her cry, He could not begin to imagine the kind of pain it would take to make her cry like that.

"I'm so scared." she whispered to him. She hadn't want to say it, he was scared enough for the both of them.

"I know baby, its ok, Th Dr said its ok, look how big our baby has grown, because of you, your doing so great." He tries to encourage her.

"But out baby is in pain. How can we let that happen? I can't take it anymore, make it stop."She pleads.

"I'll get the dr." He says quickly.

"No!" She screams at him. "This is why I didn't want you here. I don't want you to make it stop, I just want to yell at you to make it stop!" She explains her logic.

"Okay than honey, you can scream at me all you like."

"Good. Because YOU did this. You and your frelling insatiable hormones put this human baby in me!" She accuses. "I'm going to get you back for this, I'm going to make you experience this one day." She promises.

"If I could take the pain from you I would." He means it with all his heart too.

"Easy for you to say that, isn't it?" She challenges him.

Anger was good for her, he realised. It seemed to take her mind off the pain, and if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was antagonise her.

"Well honey, if you were a superior species like me..." He taunts.

'"Oh so that's what you want, a human girl, that's why I was never enough for you." She tells him.

Before he can dig himself deeper into that one, she grabs his hand, pulling it onto her stomach. "Tell your child to stop growing so fast." She orders.

"Oh it's my child now?" He mocks.

"Your child." She tells him, not amused.

"Ok, stop growing so fast and hurting your mommy." He says to her stomach.

She slaps him, somewhat playfully "Don't tell her to stop growing, she has to grow."

"I think it's a boy." He says. Just to be disagreeable. "Well then son, keep hurting mommy then." he says as he kisses her belly.

"Don't you dare kiss me, you did this to me! It never let you near me in the first place! "

Crichton wonders, if the pain of the baby merely growing inside her caused her this much pain, how on earth would she make it through the birth...how would he? Surely, they would cut it out of her.

Finally he could see as exhaustion took over from pain. Her body relaxed, her eyes closed in exhaustion.

"Im sorry, I didn't mean it." She says sleepily.

"I know. It's ok. Say whatever you want to say to make you feel better."

"I do feel better." She says

As he brushes the hair from her face, he notices she is burning up.

"Aeryn, your temperature is really high."

"It does that a lot. It will go away."

"Baby, it's really really hot!"

John calls for the Dr who confirms, that the temperature is well above accepted parameters and needs to be brought down immediately.

"We need to cool her, run a cool bath, not cold, or she will go into shock."

After running the bath he came back, Dr Magnus removed Aeryn;s gown, she was just in her singlet and underwear and he couldn't help but notice how much her breasts had grown along with her belly. This was so unreal to him. Nine months seemed a perfectly fine amount of time for a person to get used to the idea of pregnancy, a baby. But in a matter of days she has changed so completely.

He lifted her from the bed, and she pleaded "Leave me alone I'm so tired." She was drowsy, but rousable.

"Aeryn I know you're tired, but you have to try stay awake ok." He pleads

"Sure." She agrees, however she doesn't open her eyes.

"Aeryn?! Aeryn? Open your eyes!" He yells frantically at her, as he places her into the bath.

She does so, with confusion clouding her gaze "Why are you shouting at me?" She wants to know,

"I'm sorry, honey, I just need you to stay awake, can you do that for me?"

He splashed the cool water over her face, while the Dr prepared an IV bag.

"This is a strong antipyretic, it will bring Aeryn's body temperature down very efficiently."

"So give it to her,"

"It's not without risk to the unborn child."

"And if you don't give it?"

"If I do not administer it, we may not be able to control Aeryn's temperature, which would be riskier for the baby in my opinion, as well as dangerous to Aeryn."

"Then give it to her." Crichton instructs.

"John," she called to him, "It's really really cold."

"I know honey, your temperature is high, we are just cooling it down ok?"

"John, please, help me, it's so cold, please?" She begs through chattering teeth.

It was so difficult for him to hear her, begging for his help, and not be able to do anything.

"Soon." He tells her. "I promise. It's good for the baby." He adds, hoping this will satisfy.

"What baby?" She asks, and he realises her temperature must be high, she has no memory of even being pregnant. He wonders in that moment, if there was a way to induce a permanent state of amnesia, should something happen to the baby, that was she wouldn't remember it, wouldn't despise him for it.

"Why are you doing this to me Crichton? I'm sorry for whatever I did, please help me. I helped you. I stood up for you Crichton, and now I'm irreversibly contaminated, do you know what that means? I have nowhere to go, because if YOU. Why won't you help me get out of here, please?"

"Soon, I promise I would never hurt you on purpose, you just have to trust me, your temperature is really high, you aren't thinking clearly."

"I am thinking perfectly clearly! I wasn't thinking clearly when I opened my mouth and stuck up for you! What do you want? Money?"

"Aeryn, I am trying to help you, please, just trust me, relax, I promise it won't be so cold for long."

"Why are you doing this? I helped you!" She keeps repeating to him.

"Her temperature is coming down, slowly but definitely." The Dr tells him.

"And the baby? Crichton asks.

"Just take care of Aeryn. The baby is still small enough that if something happens to her the baby won't survive anyway." And John knows it's true, and knows he would pick Aeryn's life if he had to choose. But if something happened to their baby because he let the Dr administer that whatever it was, that would be the end for them.

As her temperature decreased she became more lucid. "John ? What's wrong?"

"Your temperature was a little high thats all, it's much better now."

"It's so cold in here."

"I know. Just a little longer, to make sure your temperature is stable ok."

"Is the baby ok?"

"The baby is fine."He tells her, hoping it's true.

She nods, with complete faith in him, and he wonders if he is doing the right thing. Every instinct in him wanted to pick her up and hold her and warm her up.

"I love you John." She said, out of nowhere.

"I love you too, Aeryn." He answers, wondering if it was the delirium talking,

"I'm sorry." She tells him.

"There is nothing to be sorry for."

"Really?" She asks.

"Yes, really."

"Don't leave me." She begs him.

"I won't."

"I can't do this without you." She tells him.

"You will never have to, I'm right here." "It's so cold." She kept repeating

"I know baby, just a little longer ok?" He kept assuring her.

It was nearly three hours before her temperature stabilised, the entire time she was semi conscious, barely aware of her surroundings, begging him to rescue her. All he could do was try to reassure her over and over, only to have her forget the things he said the very next minute. And still, he was glad to be with her, that she had let him in.

And when she was all tucked up in bed, three hours later, she didn't remember any of it, not Crichton taking her to the bath, not the infusion he had permitted while she could not decide for herself.

It was the Dr who gave him away, as she came in wanting to check the baby.

"Whats wrong?" Aeryn asked, worried.

"Nothing is wrong, I just want to check on the baby, after the infusion."

"What infusion?" Aeryn asked, confused.

"When your temperature was high, I had to infuse a strong IV antipyretic. The cool bath alone wasn't helping." The Dr explained.

"But you said that was bad for the baby." Aeryn insists.

"I said there was a small chance of cardiac arrhythmias." The Dr clarified.

"I told you I didn't want that!" Aeryn shouted at her.

"You were not in a fit state to speak for yourself, and Mr Crichton and I felt the benefit outweighed the risk." The Dr finishes.

If looks could kill he would have been a dead man. "How could you?" She asked him.

"Gee, I dunno, I was trying to save your life!" He answered back. He was done treading gently and being patient, he had done nothing wrong and wasn't going to take the blame any more.

"Ok." The Dr interrupts "The baby seems fine."

This stopped the two of them bickering, as their eyes were transfixed to the monitor watching their baby who had grown so much even in the last three hours.

"Really, she is ok?" Aeryn asks. "Or he?"

"Yes, really. The risk was small, there was more risk of damage to the baby had we not controlled your temperature."

She looked towards Crichton, somewhat apologetically, but wasn't going to say the words.

"Ow." She said suddenly.

"Aeryn? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Just..the baby kicked me. Here, John, feel this." She placed his hand over her belly, and waited just a few seconds before he too could fee their child moving inside of her.

Aeryn was mesmerised by the look on Crichton's face. It wasn't until that moment she realised- he really did care about the baby. ~~~ He wasn't ready for it, no matter that the Dr had tried to prepare him, He wasn't ready. He had been gone maybe four hours, Chianna and Dargo had stayed with Aeryn. Much as he loved her, he didn't fully trust her not to do something stupid. He hadn't wanted to leave at all, but Aeryn was asleep, and he needed a shower.

She was awake sitting up in bed when he entered, smiling so radiantly, "Crichton come here. " She beckoned. He made his way to her, kissing her when he reached the bed, sitting down beside her. She lifted the bed sheet, then her shirt, and there, out of nowhere, was this massive belly. His baby.

Last night she had looked maybe four or five months pregnant, but she was so slim you might not have noticed. But this was a very pregnant belly. His baby. His...he keeps wanting to say "wife" though she is not. But he wants to lay claim to her, as he does to the baby, no matter how barbaric it sounded.

"The treatments worked John, look, our baby is so big, and strong, and healthy. The doctor said she, or he, could be born any time now, the lungs and heart are developed, it's a healthy baby, totally healthy, even after everything.

He stood in awe for a moment, just touching her, imagining the little person inside.

"Are you feeling ok?" He asks her.

"I am perfect." She says, and he has never seen her smile so freely.

He can tell though, from when he kissed her, that she has a slight fever, no where near as high as before, though.

"John, I was thinking, and talking to D'Argo and Chiana..." She begins

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this..."

"Dr Magnus said the baby is fine now. She can even give us an injection to induce labor whenever we need to, but she says the baby will come on it's own in the next two weeks, provided my temperature is ok. And, it's just, I really want to go home. To Moya. I want my baby to be born there."

"I understand that, I really do." He tells her stroking her hair, and casting a dark look at Chianna and D'Argo for plotting this without his input. "I just feel safer in a hospital, with Doctors..."

"I know you do. For me, this isn't normal. This isn't where I pictured having my baby. I'm sorry John, It's not my home."

"We would be alone up there, no help, no nothing."

"I got these pamphlets, on labor and delivery." Chiana pipes up helpfully, not helping his cause at all.

"I'm not afraid of that John." Aeryn tells him. "I'm afraid of staying here. What happens when the press finds out?"

That is a valid point.

"Even Dr Magnus said there is nothing very high tech to it now. Just induce the labor before my temperature reaches a critical point. There isn't much else she can do. She said there should be no problems with the delivery, and if there are who is to say she can help, John? Sebaceans are not meant to be born on a planet, it's not good for the baby."

He can see it means a lot to her. Truthfully he is terrified. All alone up there, no doctor or nurses to help them. But Aeryn was the one going through it, and if it made her feel better to be in space, then so be it. How could he tell her he wouldn't take her home? Besides, he wouldn't be alone, the others would be there, and Pilot. "Ok, if that's what my lady wants." He finally gives in.

"I love you so much." She says throwing her arms around him. "When can we get out of here?"

Their one big mistake was to have this conversation in front of the nurse. No one noticed her quietly checking the charts and monitors in the room.


End file.
